Elder Millennial wrestles with the idea of starting a family at 38 years old, receives wholesome advice from other 'geriatric' parents happy they waited: 'Kids make you feel young'

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    " 'Just because your path deviates from the norm doesn't mean it's wrong"
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    Am I dumb for having kids at age 38? Discussion My wife (34 f) and I (37 m) have suddenly found ourselves having the kid conversation a lot after 12 years together as "childfree".
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    Being real, I can see us having kids in 18 months or so. I asked her to wait until this year wraps up before we start "trying" for kids. I turn 38 in October.
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    I grew up where I got moved around a lot, parents split when I was 5, and then again when I was 16 (step dad and mom split that time). Divorce(s) sucked. I felt like an afterthought as a result of the blended families.
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    I never felt "stable" enough to have kids prior to this year. We are not rich, but we are well set up at this point. Lots of equity in a nice house in a nice area. Low-six-figures in cash/GICS, mid- six figures invested in index funds. No debts outside of the mortgage. Two small dogs.
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    Originally, our plan was to pay off our house when our mortgage renews in December 2026 (hence all the cash/GICs). We have enough in cash/GICs and our TFSAs to pay off the house anytime, and in 2.5 years I imagine we could do it in cash without touching our TFSAs. Kids change that, obviously.
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    Now I'm staring down the reality that the youngest I'll be if we have kids is 38. I don't want to be a geriatric dad, but I don't feel like I'm old? I already have back and neck issues, though.
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    I have friends with a 16 year old FFS! Do I want to be 56 with an 18 year old? Anyone have kids late that maybe can shed some perspective?
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    Evinceo 22 hr. ago Do I want to be 56 with an 18 year old? Only you can answer that. But what exactly are you worried about? 1.9k Reply Share ... stillyoinkgasp OP .22 hr. ago I honestly don't know. It's anxiety that I can't place.
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    W8andC77 22 hr. ago My dad was 38 when I was born, I'm 40. He's a healthy, active 78 and is a fully present granddad. We had our first at 30 and were oddly the youngest parents in our friend group and among our kids peers at school.
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    not_doing that. 22 hr. ago Older Millennial I'm 36 with a 3 yr old. Met a woman at the playground yesterday who is 42 with a 4 yr old. I personally am glad that it panned out this way for me, bc my spouse and I are in a much better place relationship wise,
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    financially, and professionally to take optimum care for our kiddo. If it had happened sooner, we would have struggled and I probably wouldn't be where I am today career wise.
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    There is absolutely pros and cons to both, but 38 is not too old. my parents had my youngest brother when they were both 48 and he's a great kid. Just because your path deviates from the norm doesn't mean it's wrong or you missed your chance
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    Calculator143 21 hr. ago Just turned 37 and got a newborn 2 months old. It's all good my man. I don't feel stable either but such is life. Work within your confinement and uncertainties are a part of life
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    Angry MillenialGuy . 22 hr. ago T. Swift Millennial If you want to do it, you should start trying now. There's no sense in kicking the can any further. 292 Reply Share ... stillyoinkgasp OP. 22 hr. ago That's what my wife is telling me...
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    Subject_Roof3318 · 22 hr. ago I'm 38. Just had my last surprise. I doubled down on the stupid cause I also had one when I was 19. So My oldest graduates this year, my youngest doesn't start school for another 5 years
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    mostly-lurks-here . 22 hr. ago I had my kids at 34 & 36, my spouse was 36/38. I live in the metro-NYC suburbs and most people here have their first kid in their 30s. I know plenty of people who have had kids at 40+. Completely normal here.
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    beepbeepboop74656 · 22 hr. ago My mom was 38 and my dad was 40 when I was born. They didn't have the energy to everything but they had $$ and a stable relationship-30 years plus now. As long as you're honest with your partner and your kids about energy/money/time/priorities go for it.
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    Easy-Tip-7860. 20 hr. ago I had my only daughter at 42, husband 43. She graduates HS in 2 weeks at 18, I'm 60. I don't feel geriatric, despite what the number says. These have been the best years of my life. We have a great relationship and I
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    feel I've been a better mother having her when I did as opposed to my 22 yo self, even my 32yo self. Would I advocate everyone waiting to have kids? No, of course not. But age doesn't guarantee you'll be a good or bad parent.
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    orbittheorb 22 hr. ago Had my first this year at 39. The kid is a blast and I'm enjoying it. I really don't care what other people think about what age I am supposed to be doing whatever it is on their agenda... I spent vast majority of my 20s and 30s doing
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    exactly what I wanted to do (traveling, adventure, sports, partying, etc.), regardless of the judgement of others and I plan to do the same going forward. It's the only way to live.
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    krystinastewart24. 22 hr. ago I am 38 pregnant with #2. My husband is almost a decade older than me. We are happy we waited to have kids. We are better off financially than several of our friends when they had kids. We're
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    more established in our careers. We don't really care that we are "old parents". Also to honest weren't the oldest people in our birthing class with our first. +91 Reply Share stillyoinkgasp OP. 22 hr. ago Thanks for sharing :)
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    Aggressive-Coconut0 22 hr. ago I had kids late. Trust me; they make you feel young. My mom also had children late. Her youngest was born when she was 40. Not a problem.
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    sophiabarhoum . 22 hr. ago I am 41 and happily childfree and will never be having children, and my opinion is no you're not dumb. If you all are financially stable and healthy then it sounds like a great idea. The best parents are the ones ready and 100% on board to raise kids.

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